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Hello everyone,
I'm finally properly active now, well at least I feel as though I can now...
I have been having a problem with some negative thoughts for quite a while. I have been dwelling on them too much and they became a quick habit, and apparently the thought is of one of my greatest fears; turning into someone else.
As you can imagine, it has been really horrible and it has been getting to me pretty much every day for half of a year, hence the reason why I have not been active for half a year. The reason why it has obstructed me being active here is I was afraid I would sound different or like a faggot.
The reason why it has affected me so badly is because it was unconsciously looking for things that my problematic thoughts were based on, and it tricked my imagination into thinking that it is partly real... I know, it is really weird.
So basically, I was afraid for my style and creativity, and thought it was being sucked away from me when really it was not.
I have been working on TGSFORUM recently, but I mainly haven't had the time to be creative due to the fact that school sucks. Though I have been creative in a few of my new subjects, and right now I'm intending to win a national packaging design competition.
I'm finally properly active now, well at least I feel as though I can now...
I have been having a problem with some negative thoughts for quite a while. I have been dwelling on them too much and they became a quick habit, and apparently the thought is of one of my greatest fears; turning into someone else.
As you can imagine, it has been really horrible and it has been getting to me pretty much every day for half of a year, hence the reason why I have not been active for half a year. The reason why it has obstructed me being active here is I was afraid I would sound different or like a faggot.
The reason why it has affected me so badly is because it was unconsciously looking for things that my problematic thoughts were based on, and it tricked my imagination into thinking that it is partly real... I know, it is really weird.
So basically, I was afraid for my style and creativity, and thought it was being sucked away from me when really it was not.
I have been working on TGSFORUM recently, but I mainly haven't had the time to be creative due to the fact that school sucks. Though I have been creative in a few of my new subjects, and right now I'm intending to win a national packaging design competition.
Back to normality...
Hello everyone,
I'm back to my own sense of normality. In fact, I prefer to think that it has expanded... Quite dramatically. Yes, that's right, I am finally getting back into the habit of creating graphics and generally being quite creative.
In fact, I feel - and for quite a long time - that I am have around and equal amount of potential in other forms of art, such as traditional art, design, Mixed Media and other IT skills, music, drama, etc... And no, I don't feeling like I'm boasting like a typical human being on MySpace.
So, I decided to my parents that I should get Creative Suite 4. That would include a HUGE advancement from the grap
Motivation
I am not exactly sure why, but I am suddenly motivated. I am not motivated towards exams exactly, though they officially start next week, but more to my creative side. I think it is because my problem, which I mention in the previous journal entry, is less annoying (though it has recently been more persistent), giving me more confidence in my self and my creativity.
I have been working quite a fair amount on my competition entry and it is almost completed. Apparently one person from each class working for this competition actually gets to enter depending on how good their entry is. I recall that I was told the competition is open for senior
Forums
I have decided to stop working on the private forum for school seeming my hate of my school is growing to extreme heights. I wont go into too much depth there, as it is a rather complicated subject for me to discuss right at the moment.
I haven't really done anything on Ace v3. I feel like I should start fresh on a new forum or something. Any ideas?
I'm a bit confuesed...
Yes, confused that I now finally have a break. It feels strange after through what I've been through this year at school, all the unreasonable and injustice that occurs along with the excessive amount of work the teachers give me, or should I say us.
There is some good news, though, and that is I made it into Game Designing and Multimedia tools and Techniques. Lest just hope the teachers can actually teach something to me that I don't know.
I find it unbelievable that younger kids have to do homework even when they are in prep, though I suppose it makes them ready for it and gets the spoiled children off their arses.
At least I'm finally
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Comments3
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The creative juices flowing yet, li'l brah...? 'Tis unfortunate you're not yet feeling well. 
Good luck in the competition! :]
Good luck in the competition! :]